Saturday, May 2, 2009

Written Communication - Spring 2009 Overview

Written Communication - Spring 2009

In this class this semester, I learned about different writing styles. I learned how to write a narrative and descriptive essay, an analytical essay and a persuasive essay. Each was a little more difficult than the last.
In writing a narrative and descriptive essay, you are writing about a personal experience. When writing this type of an essay, one of the most important aspects of your writing should be in the details. You want to make the reader feel like they are there. You want your reader to see what you saw, feel what you felt, taste what you tasted and hear what you heard.
In analytical essays, there are several different ways you can write your paper. It can be cause and effect, comparison and contrast, classification, process writing, definition or a combination of any of these. In any analytical essay, it is very important to pick a topic that is important to you. You want to convey that importance in your writing to your readers. The main purpose of an analytical paper is to inform your audience about a topic.
In persuasive writing, it is also very important to pick a topic that you care about. You want to pick a topic, explain it to the reader, take your position, and persuade your readers in a non-condescending way to change the way they think or act about your topic. In persuading your readers you want to be sure to take and show your position, but also show the opposition and have rebuttals for those opposing views. You may also want to propose a solution.
In all forms of writing, it is a step-by-step process. You want to pick your topic, have a good understanding of your current knowledge on the topic and then do some research. Whenever you do research, you must make sure to quote your sources. You always want to make sure you are aware of your audience and what they may already know about the topic. A very important part of writing is knowing your readers. You always want to write a fist draft and get some feedback on it. You want to make sure that you have enough details and supporting evidence (if needed in the type of paper you are writing). You also want to be sure that you are clear in your essay as well as having a good flow; a good organization method to your essay. You want to make sure that your opening is attention grabbing and your closing is fitting to your topic. Then you want to revise your essay based on the feedback you received and correct any grammar and spelling errors. Then you are ready to write your final draft and publish your essay.
In this class, I would say the most difficult essay for me to write was the last essay, which was our persuasive essay. I found it the most difficult because you are trying to persuade your readers to change their opinions on a topic that you care about deeply. And you must do it in a way that is not argumentative (in a bad way). You must talk in a voice that is thoughtful. I think that is hard to do when you are talking about a heated topic.
Overall, I really enjoyed this class. I really enjoyed writing the essays we were required to write. And I especially enjoyed hearing all the different essays in class. I really like that there are people from all around the globe in our class and we get an opportunity to see the world through the eyes of others.

Chapter 20 - Proposing a Solution Exercise

Chapter 20 - Proposing a Solution - Exercise

“Uncle Sam and Aunt Samantha” - Pages 306 - 308 - Reading for Better Writing Exercise:

1. What problem(s) does Quindlen identify? What solution(s) does she propose? To what extent would the proposed solution(s) solve the problem(s) Quindlen discusses?

I see the problem that Quindlen identifies is that in this country, only men, ages 18-25 are to be drafted if need be, not women. She proposes that both men and women, ages 18-25 should be drafted if need be. I think that her solution to the problem is a good one. I am not sure if I agree with it, but it would solve her problem of inequality in this country when it comes to a draft.

2. Review the section in Chapter 17 about “Identifying Logical Fallacies” (see pages 255-258). Quindlen’s opponents might accuse her of “wither/or thinking,” pointing out that instead of addressing only two options, she could also have argued to end the draft for everyone. What other logical fallacies might Quindlen’s opponents accuse her of making? Would you agree with them? Why or why not?

Appealing to pity, appealing to popular sentiment, attack against the person, and slanted language are some of the fallacies I see to be in this essay by Quindlen. I think, and do agree that these fallacies are present in this paper. I think that Quindlen’s voice throughout this paper shows a negative connotation. I think she preys on the reader’s pity that men are to be drafted, but women are not. That her son will have to enroll at age 18, but her daughter will not. I think her voice should have been smoother throughout this paper.

3. What strategies does Quindlen use to try to convince readers that the situation she describes is problematic?

Quindlen talks about the differences in women in this country to the women in Afghanistan. She also talks about how people in this country do not want their sons to get drafted, just like they would not want their daughters to get drafted. She points out that there should be equality in this country when it comes to this matter. She is trying to show that women and men are equal and should be treated that way on every level, on every issue.

4. Why does the writer acknowledge that there may be opposition to her description of the problem and to her proposed solution? How does she respond to these counterarguments?

One way that the writer acknowledges an opposition is talking about how people think that women are made of the finer stuff, but in this day and age made of the right stuff. Because of this, she says that right comes with responsibility and teachers teach their students this. But because women do not get drafted, it goes against what is taught in this country.

5. Why does the essay open with a series of one-sentence paragraphs? How might the effect of the essay differ if these sentences had been combined into one paragraph?

I think the writer opens this essay with a series of one-sentence paragraphs for a dramatic effect. She really wants to highlight some facts. If they were all combined into one paragraph, I think they would loose that dramatic, highlighted effect.

Chapter 20 - Proposing a Solution Mindmap

Chapter 20 - Proposing a Solution Summary

Chapter 20 - Proposing a Solution - Summary

This chapter is all about identifying a problem and coming up with the best solution for it. You should pick a topic that is real, serious or shows danger or brokenness. The problem you choose to discuss should also have a workable solution. You should always identify and analyze your audience. You need to think about what they may already know about the issue, if it affects them directly or indirectly. You also need to know if there is any common ground between you and your audience. In your paper, it is of course very important to define the problem for your reader. They need to understand all the parts to the issue. You need to determine the seriousness of the issue, analyze the causes, and explore the history of the issue and solutions that may have been previously tried. And you must think creatively. Try to look at the issue through other peoples eyes. Maybe a different countries or gender or races sees the issue differently than you. Next, I learned that you need to brainstorm possible solutions and evaluate them. You need to be able to pick the best possible solution to this problem with supporting evidence that this is the best solution. Then you outline your proposal, showing the problem, the solution and the support. You should always get feedback when writing a paper, and then take the feedback into consideration. You then edit your paper, check for grammar and spelling errors and publish your paper. I did learn in doing my exercise for this chapter, that you need to be careful of including fallacies in your proposal. This seems to be very easy to do without even knowing sometimes. So I would ask your peers for feedback on that as well.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

"Is This Truly The Land of the Free Where All Men and Women Are Equal? - Persuasive Essay Resources

References

“All men are created equal” - Declaration of Independence, Gettysburg Address, I Have a Dream - King Jr., Martin Luther
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/All_men_are_created_equal

Article 5 - California Comprehensive Sexual Health and HIV/ AIDS Prevention Education Act - Education Code Section 51938
http://crahd.phi.org/sb71overview.pdf

Bill of Rights
http://www.usconstitution.net/const.html#Am1

California Constitution Article 1 Declaration of Rights - Section 7.5
http://www.leginfo.ca.gov/cgi-bin/displaycode?section=edc&group=51001-52000&file=51890-51891

Declaration of Independence Transcript: The National Achieves Experience
http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/declaration_transcript.html

Education Code Section 51930-51932
http://www.sdcoe.net/lret2/hpe/pdf/ED%20Code%2051930-51939.pdf

Let California Ring - Facts - Equality California Institute - Copyright 2009
http://www.letcaliforniaring.org/site/c.ltJTJ6MQIuE/b.3348081/k.B080/Facts.htm

Pascoe, Peggy - “Why the Ugly Rhetoric Against Gay Marriage Is Familiar to this Historian of Miscegenation” - 2004 - History of Interracial Marriage
http://hnn.us/articles/4708.html

Prop 8 - Pros & Cons to Same-Sex Marriage - Created for Nov. 2008 Election
http://www.smartvoter.org/2008/11/04/ca/state/prop/8/

SB 71 Fact Sheet - California Comprehensive Sexual Health Education LAW - SB 71 (Senate Bill 71) - Law as of 1/1/2004
http://www.gsanetwork.org/resources/pdf/SB71FactSheet2.pdf

Wikipedia - The Free Encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_partnership

"Is This Truly The Land of the Free Where All Men and Women Are Equal? - Persuasive Essay

Is This Truly The Land of the Free Where All Men and Women Are Equal?

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men all created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” (United States Declaration of Independence).
“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal” (Gettysburg Address, Abraham Lincoln).
“I have a dream, that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: ‘We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal” (“I Have a Dream”, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.)

Those famous quotes taken from documents and speeches throughout the history of America were used in attempt to make this country a place of freedom, where all men and women are truly equal. I believe in what this country stands for which is freedom and equality. The United States of America is known best as The Land of the Free! I believe that all Americans should have the right to marry; this includes same-sex couples. If we exclude these rights from certain individuals, such as same-sex couples then we are going against what we, as Americans, stand for. I believe that it was wrong that during the years of 1664 to 1967, interracial marriages were illegal (Pascoe), just like I now think it is wrong that same-sex marriages are not legal. Discrimination is no different when directed at race or a person’s sexuality. It is still discrimination, and therefore, wrong.
When I first gained a definite opinion about this issue was during 2008, when Proposition 8 was written. Prop-8 was based on whether or not same-sex couples should be allowed to marry in the state of California. The California Supreme Court had over-turned a previous vote of the people and legalized same-sex marriages in May of 2008, deeming it was unconstitutional to prevent same-sex marriages. Prop 8 was written to over-turn that Supreme Court ruling, and in November of 2008, the people voted YES on Prop 8. The YES vote now means that only marriage between a man and a woman is valid or recognized in California (California Constitution Article 1 Declaration of Rights Section 7.5). Personally, I voted no on Prop 8 for several different reasons. One of those reasons is close to my heart for two of my best friends are homosexuals. I believe that they deserve the same rights as everyone else. Both of them should be able to marry and reap the same marital benefits as heterosexual couples. I do not believe they should be treated differently in any way because of their sexual orientation.
The most common concerns here in California with those that were and are against same-sex marriages are heterosexuals and religious establishments wanting to preserve the meaning of marriage as between a man and a woman and parents not wanting same-sex marriage to be taught in schools. Prop 8 supporters were using, what I believed to be scare tactics, such as saying that fairy tales would be read in schools about Kings and Kings to young children. There was also a story about children being taken to a same-sex marriage ceremony for a school field trip. Opinions were and are that homosexuals don’t need to marry because they are offered domestic partnerships; which give the same benefits as marriage without the title. And, of course, many disagree with same-sex marriage based on their religious beliefs (Prop 8 - Smart Voter).
Homosexuality is apart of our society today, regardless if you agree with it or not. Children are going to be curious and ask about same-sex couples whether or not they are allowed to marry. With that being said, Senate Bill 71, the California Comprehensive Sexual Health and HIV/AIDS Prevention Act of 2004, went into law on January 1, 2004. This law is to provide students with the knowledge and skills necessary to be protected against unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases. It is also suppose to educate the students about being healthy, adolescent growth and development, body image, gender roles, sexual orientation, dating, marriage, and family (SB 71 Fact Sheet). This law also requires that schools notify parents at the beginning of year about these classes. All parents have the right to “opt out” and not have their child participate in these classes. Education Code Section 51938 shows that it is a parent’s right to excuse their child from all or part of comprehensive sexual education (Article 5). So, if one is concerned with a child learning about homosexuality or same-sex marriage in their school, it is within a parent’s rights to remove their child from those health or sex education classes.
When I heard people talking about teachers reading students fairy tales about Kings and Kings, I thought that was a fallacy; a false claim to put fear in people. I do not remember any fairy tale stories being a part of grammar school curriculum and neither does anyone I know. I do not remember learning about heterosexual or homosexual marriage either. Another story that I believe to be false is the one I mentioned previously about students being taken to a same-sex marriage ceremony for a school field trip. As I remember, Kindergarten through 12th grade, no matter what field trip you went on with your school, it required a parental permission slip. Again, I believe this was only a scare tactic used to persuade people to vote against homosexual marriages.
Same-sex couples in the state of California, in certain cities, are offered the opinion to become domestic partners. A domestic partnership is defined as a legal or personal relationship between two individuals who live together and share a common domestic life but are neither joined by marriage nor a civil union (Wikipedia). Many people think that same-sex couples do not need to get married because they are offered domestic partnerships. People tend to think that they are one in the same, but with a little research you will find that they are quite different. A few of those differences are, for example, as a married couple you have more than 1,000 federal rights and benefits, you are allowed to make medical decisions for your spouse, visit them in the hospital as immediate family, and are recognized universally as a married couple. As a domestic partner, there are no federal protections, you may not be able to make medical decisions for your partner or get recognized as immediate family to visit them in the hospital, and you are not universally seen as a united couple on the same level as a marriage. Also, in a marriage you are able to file your taxes jointly, except an inheritance from your spouse, allowed to change your name and eligible for Social Security Insurance. While as a domestic partner you can only file federal taxes separately, and if you are left an inheritance from your partner, there will be a tax penalty which is the same as if a stranger left someone an inheritance. As a domestic partner, you may only change your name with a court order and you are not eligible for Social Security Insurance. So, as you can see when comparing marriage to a domestic partnership, they are not the same. Domestic partnerships do not come with nearly as many benefits as married couples do.
The last opposition I want to address is the fact that people do not think same-sex marriages should be legalized because of their religious beliefs. I do not want to discuss what each religion and their materials say because I believe it is all up for interpretation. I do understand that all religions disapprove of homosexuality, but I think whether or not same-sex couples should be allowed to marry should be based on state, not church. Just like the Bill of Rights First Amendment (freedom of religion, press and expression) states, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances” (Bill of Rights).
In this country, there is a separation of church and state. If a law would pass stating same-sex couples would be allowed to marry, that would not force religions to change their beliefs. I look at these as two separate entities. Religions can continue preaching as they wish regarding homosexuality. Same-sex couples will probably never be allowed to marry in churches, so that is religion’s way of not putting their stamp of approval on something they disagree with. Same-sex marriage does not dictate what a religion can and can not believe in, it just gives same-sex couples equal marital rights on a state level.
The world we live in is forever changing, so I think we should keep an open mind and roll with the punches so to speak. I am not asking you to change whether or not you believe in homosexuality; all I am asking is that you remember America is The Land of the Free and is about equality for all. If you believe that homosexuality is wrong, you are free to believe that. Changing ones mind on whether or not homosexuality is right or wrong was not the goal of Prop 8, nor is it my goal. I just want fellow Americans to see that marriage should not be discriminated against no matter heterosexual or homosexual in the eyes of the state.

"Is This Truly The Land of the Free Where All Men and Women Are Equal? - Persuasive Essay Mindmap

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Journal Entry

Today I will start the research I need to do for my persuasive essay that is due within the next couple of weeks. I hope that I can find a way to bring it all together in a clear, persuading way. I know this topic has so many different avenues. I think I will only focus on a few. Really, I want to focus on the topic I see it in my mind. We will see how it turns out.

Chapter 19 - Persuading Readers to Act - Exercise

Chapter 19: Persuading Readers to Act - Exercise

Soul of a Citizen: Living with Conviction in a Cynical Time - Pages 288 - 290 - Reading for Better Writing Exercise:

1. What is the writer arguing for and against? What does he want readers to do? Look at the question in the opening paragraph. What answer does Loeb present?

The writer is arguing for public participation. He wants the readers to be more active in speaking out and making this country and the world a better place for us and for our grandchildren to come. Loeb answers his question in paragraph one by telling the reader to stand up for what they believe in. He wants to the reader to understand that your voice/ opinion can matter. And he shows the reader some examples of how a person he knows and people from history have made a difference. He shows us how, in fact, people in history spent more time than you think in the causes for which they believed in.

2. What efforts does Loeb make to address readers’ questions, concerns, and opposing arguments? Are these efforts successful? Explain.

I think that Loeb points out in this essay how most people think that their voice does not matter or would never be heard no matter what they did or do. But he addresses this concern with his examples; showing how the people in these examples kept pushing and working towards the changes they believed in. With all their hard work it paid off for them in the end. Changes were made in favor of what they believed in.

3. Consider the examples Loeb offers: Pete Knutson and Rosa Parks. Do these examples work as support for the writer’s claims? Why or why not?

I believe these examples do work in favor of the writer’s claims. He shows the reader how these people; Pete Knutson and Rosa Parks kept working towards what they believed in. He showed how these individuals kept letting their voices be heard over and over again. He showed how maybe at first it seemed as though their claims went unnoticed or at first nothing changed. But with persistence, changes were made.

4. Broadly speaking, what is the author’s view of life, and how does that perspective come through in this essay?

I believe that the author’s view of life is that we, as human beings are not caring as much about the world around us. He believes that we are not thinking about the future of this world. We allow some to starve as others live with many riches. I believe the author thinks that we, as human begins, are not acting in a way that we should be. We allow extraordinary imbalances to take place. And most of all, we do not speak up about anything. We all kind of jut live in our own little bubbles. I think the author gives you something to think about when you read this essay. He makes you think of how you can change yourself to make a different in this world.

Chapter 19 - Persuading Readers to Act - Mindmap

Chapter 19 - Persuading Readers to Act - Summary

Chapter 19: Persuading Readers to Act - Summary

This chapter is all about how to write a persuasive paper and getting the reader to change their behavior, thinking or act upon something in a certain way. In choosing a topic for this essay, this chapter recommends choosing a topic that you are passionate about. Maybe your topic will be related to a personal experience you have had that raised some questions or a personal idea, some thought or fear that you think of often. Maybe your topic will have to do with a concern of the community, national or international affairs, or something you may not have an opinion on now, but would like to have a stance on. Regardless of what your topic is, make sure that it is debatable and that you are trying to persuade your reader, not to manipulate them. You want to make sure that your voice in your paper is passionate, thoughtful and sincere. When writing a persuasive paper you need to address both sides to the argument; your side and then the opposing side. I think the biggest thing I learned in this chapter is that when writing a persuasive paper, you need to think about whether you want to write on the whole issue or just one aspect of it. I think when writing my persuasive paper, I will need to keep this in mind. I think with any issue really, you can go down so many different avenues with it. I think I will look at my issue in its entirety and then try to just choose one aspect of it to write about.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Chapter 18 - Taking a Position Exercise

Chapter 18 - Taking a Position Exercise

Reading for Better Writing - “An Apology for the Life of Ms. Barbie D. Doll”
Pages 265 - 266 - Exercise:

1. The word apology can mean defense, as well as a statement of regret for wrongdoing. Is the use of the word fitting in the title? Why or why not?

I don’t really think that the word apology in the title of this article is fitting. I think that the use of that word in the title gives a tone of sarcasm to the article. I can see how the author uses the word apology in the title as more of a defense to the Barbie doll, but I am not sure if I’d use that word. I think I would have a title more along the lines of, “The Misjudged Life of Ms. Barbie D. Doll.”

2. This essay is a counterargument that replies heavily on logic and personal experience for support. How does the writer treat the original source? How do concessions and rebuttals function in this argument?

I think the reader treats the original source with a great deal of insult. Almost as if this author feels the original source has no clue what they were talking about. I think that the idea to a good argumentative or persuasive paper is not to bash the opposing side, but to have an open mind and gently make rebuttals to it. I feel this author was offended deeply by the original source.

Chapter 18 - Taking a Position Mindmap

Chapter 18 - Taking a Position Summary

Chapter 18 - Taking a Position Summary

This chapter really focuses on teaching the reader how to take a stand on a topic and write a persuasive paper on that stand. There are guidelines that you need to follow in order to make this happen. The first step is to select and narrow a topic. You need to choose a topic that you care about and then decide which angle you would like to use to explain the topic. Before you start writing you need to make sure that you have a stance on your beliefs when it comes to the topic you chose. Then you want to build your position to be defendable. You need to make sure you understand all possible positions that are out there regarding your topic. You need to do some research, find pros and cons, statistics, analysis, experiences, observations, and/ or expert testimony on your subject. Make sure that you watch out for fallacies. You don’t want your writing to have any slanted language, generalizations, oversimplifications, or have either/ or thinking. Once you have researched your topic, you need to refine your position. In the chapter, they give you a formula to use, which is, “I believe this to be true about…” Then you can choose your organization method you wish to use for your essay. There are a few different types outlined in this chapter. These different methods are traditional pattern, blatant confessions, delayed gratification, changed mind or winning over. Once you decide how to organize your essay, you can write your first draft. You want to be sure to grab the reader’s attention, clarify and support your position, stress your position or ask the reader for action, and make sure to choose a bold title that offers a glimpse into your stance. Then you will want to get feedback, revise your writing, edit & proofread your essay and then publish it. When reading this chapter and looking over the guidelines outlined in this chapter for taking a position and writing a persuasive essay, I was thinking about my upcoming essay. I was thinking about what form of organization I would use. I think my plan right now is to use the traditional method of organization. This method has you introduce your issue, state your position, support it, address and refute the opposition and then restate your issue to close. I think this method will work best for me. Who knows, maybe once I start my research, my organization method of my upcoming essay will change. We will have to see.

Chapter 17 - Strategies for Argumentation and Persuasion Mindmap

Chapter 17 - Strategies for Argumentation and Persuasion Summary

Chapter 17 - Strategies for Argumentation and Persuasion Summary

In this chapter you learn about strategies of argument and persuasion. In a persuasive argument you are trying to get a person (your reader or listener) to think or feel a certain way or to act on something. In order to build a persuasive argument, there are some necessary steps to take. First you must prepare your argument. You need to know who your audience is and know your goal. You also need to gather evidence and ideas that support your argument and develop reasoning. You must make and qualify your claim by drawing conclusions based on the evidence that you gathered. You need to add qualifiers into your argument. Some examples listed in the chapter are words like, typically, sometimes, almost and often. You should try to avoid making all or nothing claims or extreme claims. So, stay clear of words like, all, best, never or worst. And avoid obvious or unsupported claims as well. Next you want to support your claim. To support your claim you will need evidence. A few examples of evidence that you can use would be observations, statistics, analogies, and predictions. Make sure all of your evidence is accurate, complete, relevant, current, authoritative and appealing. While showing the evidence you gathered, use patterns of inductive or deductive logic. I also learned that you need to identify fallacies. There are several different types of fallacies that can be within an argument. Some of these types of fallacies are trying to distort the issue, sabotage the argument, draw faulty conclusions, misuse evidence, or misuse language. Also, when building a persuasive argument, you want to make sure to engage the opposing side. You do so by acknowledging the opposition and develop rebuttals to it as well. In this chapter I learned there are three types of claims you can make in an argument. These types of claims are claims of truth, claims of value, and claims of policy. Claims of truth state whether something is or is not the case. Claims of value show whether something does or does not have worth. And claims of policy show what ought to be or ought not to be. I also learned that in an argument you need to be able to distinguish a claim from fact and/ or opinion. A claim is a conclusion in which was drawn from logical thought and reliable evidence. A fact is a statement that can be checked for accuracy and an opinion is a personal attitude toward something. I think for myself, the rule in building a persuasive argument that stuck out for me was to have a rebuttal for the opposing side. I believe that really can make your argument whole or complete.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Journal Entry

I finally did it! I spent all day yesterday writing my 1st draft analytical essay on Human and Sex Trafficking. Then today I had a friend proofread it for me. She made a few suggestions.... I took all suggestions made into consideration and then wrote my final draft. I am happy with the outcome on it. Hopefully I didn't cross the line into this essay being a persuasive paper. That was hard to do on this topic. I felt it was a very fine line that was being walked. We'll see what my instructor, Sylvia says in class about it. Hopefully she thinks it is good.

Analytical Essay - Human and Sex Trafficking Mindmap

Analytical Essay - Human and Sex Trafficking

Human and Sex Trafficking

Drugs can be bought and sold once, while a human being can be bought and sold over and over again. Human Trafficking, which is the “parent” topic to sex trafficking, is the modern day practice of slavery. In more detail, Human Trafficking is defined as a criminal activity in which people are recruited, harbored, transported, bought or kidnapped to serve an exploitative purpose, such as sexual slavery, forced labor, or child soldiery (Wiktionary.org). Human Trafficking is every person’s issue, for it affects many lives worldwide. With the help of specialized organizations and awareness to the public, we can end this modern day slavery.
“Human trafficking is the fastest growing criminal industry in the world, generating billions of dollars in profits at the expense of victimizing millions of people around the world. It is the second largest organized crime today. Sex trafficking is one of the most lucrative sectors regarding the illegal trade of people. Sex trafficking includes prostitution, pornography, bride trafficking, and the commercial sexual abuse of children” (Polaris Project).
In 2005, the U.S. government estimated that approximately 600,000-800,000 people are trafficked across international borders every year (Zarrin T. Caldwell). In the most recent studies, it is estimated that approximately 2.5 million people throughout the world at any given time are being trafficked (UNODC). Mostly women and young girls are victims of this modern day slavery. They are being forced into prostitution or otherwise being exploited sexually. Around the world, 50 to 60 percent of the children trafficked into sex slavery are under the age of 16. 25 percent of all child sex tourists around the world are U.S. citizens (Oprah.com). The United States of America is the #1 country of destination for trafficked victims. The largest number of people trafficked into the U.S. come from East Asia and the Pacific. (The next highest numbers of people come from Latin America, Europe and Eurasia (U.S. Departments of Justice, Health and Human Services, State, Labor, Homeland Security, Agriculture, and the U.S. Agency for International Development. 2004).
The first time I heard about Human Trafficking was actually when watching a movie on Lifetime Movie Network titled Human Trafficking. The movie was an insight for me into this issue. I, like so many people in the world today, had no idea of this modern day slavery world that is out there. The scary part is that most of the time this takes place right before our eyes. Sex trafficking of woman and girls can go “unnoticed” so to speak from the authorities because it is easily disguised as street prostitution. Sex Trafficking can also be found in underground systems like brothels. After I first heard of this issue, I was completely appalled at the fact that this is taking place all over the world today.
Woman and children are being tricked into becoming human slaves. Traffickers are using different physical and psychological means to get their victims to do as they wish. Victims are threatened, their families are threatened, and/ or they are coerced, abducted or forced into it. Some different examples of luring techniques are a promise of a good job in another country, a marriage that is false turns into a bondage situation, being sold into the sex trade by parents or significant others or being kidnapped by traffickers. Victims are also “prepared” by their captors in many different ways. Some examples of these methods are starvation, confinement, beatings, rape, forced drug use and threats of shaming the victims by revealing their activities to loved ones.
In watching the movie Human Trafficking and in my research on this topic, I learned that the physical and psychological damage to these victims is unbelievable. These victims have physical risks and injuries such as drug and alcohol addictions, broken bones, burns, genital tears, memory loss, forced abortions, STDs and other diseases, such as, hepatitis, malaria and pneumonia. The psychological trauma can almost be worst than the physical damage. Victims have disorders such as Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, acute anxiety, depression, and insomnia. Also, they have tremendous amounts of fear, distrust, self-hatred and suicidal thoughts (Department of Health and Human Services).
In conclusion, I’d like to say that I could never imagine being forced into this type of a life style. I do not know how one can go on living after being exposed to this. There is so much physical and psychological trauma. My heart goes out to all the victims of this horrific world of human trafficking. I am thankful for the non-profit organizations and government agencies out there who are fighting to stop and help treat the victims of this modern day slavery. Organizations such as Polaris Project and Make Way Partners are fighting against Human Trafficking and aiming for a world without slavery. There are such government agencies such as United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, and U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement that are also fighting the war on Human Trafficking. Without committed organizations like these, this epidemic would be far worse then it currently is today.



References


Caldewell, Zarrin T. OneWorld US. April 8, 2005 Human Trafficking 101


Department of Health and Human Services Sex Trafficking Fact Sheet


En.Wiktionary.org.


Oprah.com UNICEF. U.S. Departments of Justice, Health and Human Services, State, Labor, Homeland Security, Agriculture, and the U.S. Agency for International Development 2004

Polaris Project. Polarisproject.org


UNODC - United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime UNODC eNewsletter March 22, 2009 UNODC launches Global Initiative to Fight Human Trafficking

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Journal Entry

Well, spring break is almost over and I need to get my analytical essay completed. Over the break I have done some research on my topic. I need to do a little more research before I can start drafting my essay. I hope I can put it together in a proper essay format.

Chapter 16 - Definition - Exercise

“The College Writer” - Chapter 16 Definition - Exercise

Understanding Dementia - Pages 235 - 237 - Reading for Better Writing:

1. Describe how the writer introduces the topic, and explain why the introduction is or is not effective.

The author introduces the topic by using a monologue from a personal experience of hers. I think this essay was started in a very effective way because it lets you into the disease itself. It makes you feel a personal experience of the disease.

2. Describe how the writer distinguishes the class (dementia) from the specific illness within that class. How are the illnesses within the class defined and explained?

The author tells the reader of the health problems that are considered to be known as the broad topic of dementia. These health problems include Alzheimer’s disease, brain tumors, arteriosclerosis, and hardening of the arteries. She then goes on to explain the symptoms that dementia and the outlined health problems can cause.

3. The writer extends her definition by focusing largely on the symptoms of the disease. Examine her strategies for doing so, and explain whether you find them effective.

The writer explains how dementia causes short-term and long-term memory loss, depression and behavioral changes such as anger or even schizophrenia. I think by the writer talking about all the symptoms it is very effective. It helps the reader to understand in more detail what the disease does to a person.

4. Review how the writer closes with an appeal to readers. Is the closing fitting? Why or why not?

I think the closing the writer chose is very fitting. She, being a person with personal experiences dealing with dementia has an understanding of ways that people can help. She does a nice job of wrapping up the essay with a main point that there is no cure for dementia, but people can help with providing love, kindness and patience.

Chapter 16 - Definition - Mindmap

Chapter 16 - Definition - Summary

“The College Writer” - Chapter 16 Definition - Summary

This chapter is all about how to write an essay on a word. I never knew that you could write an entire essay on just one word, so this chapter was interesting to read. In reading Understanding Dementia, I got a clear picture of how to outline and write an essay to better help a reader understand a word. When writing an essay on a definition of a word, it can help to bring in personal experience like the author did in Understanding Dementia. I think personal experience adds a deeper level of understanding to the reader. I also learned and believe that bringing in etymology, expert research, statistics, and supporting details help the reader to understand the word/ definition of a word better. I think when writing this type of an essay, it is extremely important that the essay is written clearly. You want to make sure whatever you are trying to write about, that the reader completely understands that meaning when they are done reading your essay.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Journal Entry

I think I now know what topic I am going to write about for my Analytical Essay. I think I should start my research soon on the topic itself as well as the different styles of essay writing. I think so far the notes I jotted down on my essay structure are a good start. I will probably spend most of spring break working on this essay. Hopefully it turns out good.

Chapter 15 - Process Writing Exercise

Chapter 15 - Process Writing - Exercise

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow - Pages 222-223 - Reading for Better Writing:

1. The writer uses an analogy to describe the process of how hair grows. List the elements of the analogy, along with corresponding elements of the process. Then explain why the analogy is or is not effective.

Analogies:
Field of grass - your skull
Two layers of soil - scalp (common skin)
First layer of clay - dermis
On top of that a layer of rich, black dirt - epidermis
100,000 little holes - follicles
Grass seed - papilla
Gardner comes along and cuts the grass - barber snips it

I think these analogies used in this short essay about hair/ hair loss are effective. I see how a field of grass is just like a head of hair. I really think the author did a great job using all the analogies he did in this essay.

2. The writer uses an illustration to show parts of a hair stem. Study the illustration and explain why it does or does no help clarify the message.



I think that that above image that was included in the essay by the author does give you a better visual and helps to clarify the story. I mean, I think the author did a fantastic job of giving the reader visualization of the message just in his analogies; but I think this illustration gave more to the essay.

3. Review the introduction to the essay, noting the author’s purpose for the writing. Then describe his voice and explain why it does or does not help his purpose.

I think the author’s introduction to the essay was a good way to lead into his purpose. He sets up his analogies right away. I thin his voice throughout the essay shows his knowledge of hair and his ability to relate that to a field of grass.

Chapter 15 - Process Writing Mindmap

Chapter 15 - Process Writing Summary

Chapter 15 - Process Writing - Summary

This chapter teaches you about the writing of processes. There are three basic forms of writing about a process. You can write a description of a process, explain a process, or write instructions. Describing and explaining a process are normally written in an essay format, while instructions are in a numbered list format. In describing a process, you are telling the reader how something happens. In explaining a process, you are telling the reader how something is done. And in writing instructions, you are giving the reader a step-by-step of how to do something. In any of these writings you do, you need to make sure you are writing for all readers. So make sure that a person who knows nothing about the topic for which you are writing, can understand your essay or instructions. You also need to make sure when you are writing about a process, that you have smooth transitions between each step. You need to make sure to describe the process as a whole, explain any follow up activity and highlight any safety precautions. To test your writing, the best way to is to have a person who is unfamiliar with the process, go through it. That way you can see that you wrote it properly and with correct order in your steps.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Journal Entry

The more I read about the different types of analyical essays, the more nervous I become. I really am having a hard time of thinking of a topic I would like to write about. I feel like I don't even know where to begin. Hopefully a topic will soon come to me. I would like to start writing this essay sooner rather than later. Well haev to see what I come up with. Maybe I will ask my instructor Sylvia or some friends for some ideas.

Chapter 14 - Classification Exercise

Chapter 14 - Classification - Exercise

Three Family Cancers - Reading for Better Writing - Exercise Page 207:

1. The writer opens and closes the essay with a personal anecdote. Explain why this story does or does not strengthen the essay.
I think the author adding in her personal anecdote in the beginning and end of this essay does strengthen this essay. It adds a personal touch and another angle to the essay. She talks about her own personal experiences dealing with three types of cancer, informs the reader of facts on these three cancers, and gives some statistics as well. I think this was a well-rounded essay.

2. For each subgroup (type of cancer), the writer uses a grandparent as an example. Explain how her use of examples does or does not help clarify the subject.
I think the writer using a grandparent as an example for each type of cancer does help to clarify the subject. She states facts for each type as well as showing the reader how in her life these facts have played out. I think the examples of her grandparents make the reader more apart of the story. Reading these examples helps the reader to relate more and understand more the results of cancer.

3. Where in the essay does the writer compare and contrast different forms of cancer? Is the comparison and contrast effective? Why or why not?
In paragraph five the author gives a comparison and contrast of different types of cancer and how they can be exposed. Other than that, throughout her whole essay is an indirect comparison and contrast of different cancers. I don’t think her comparison and contrast was effective. I think this essay was more of describing three types of cancers. I did not feel a strong comparison and contrast while reading the essay.

4. Writing about a scientific topic like cancer nearly always requires technical terminology. Cite two such terms used in this essay, and explain how the writer clarifies each term’s meaning.
1. Carcinogens: The author says this is cancer-causing agents and classifies them into three groups: chemicals, radiation, and viruses.
2. Multiple Myeloma: The author says this is a type of cancer that is a malignant growth of cells in the bone marrow that makes holes in the skeleton.

Chapter 14 - Classification Mindmap

Chapter 14 - Classification Summary

Chapter 14 - Classification - Summary

This chapter teaches the reader how to write a classification essay. A classification essay is when you pick a topic like education, for example, and then you subdivide that topic into subgroups like learning styles and testing methods. In your first paragraph you state your topic, thesis and explain how you are going to subdivide the subject. The middle of your essay is where you want to develop your thesis and explain your subgroups in more detail. And then you want to have a conclusion that brings the subgroups back together. When writing a classification essay, you want to be sure that your essay is consistent and exclusive in when you subdivide your topic and you want to write in such a way that your reader will understand the essay as a whole. This type of essay will probably require some amount of research, so make sure to list your sources.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Journal Entry

In reading this chapter today on Comparison and Contrast, what stuck out most to me what the essay called A Fear Born of Sorrow. This essay brought me back to that horrific day, September 11th, 2001. I remember waking up to the news and just being in shock. There were no words to describe how any of us felt that day. Shock was the initial reaction, and then sadness and fear. I had some friends and family that lived in New York, so trying to reach them was nearly impossible. All the phone lines were busy! I just could not believe what had happened. It is a sad day in our nation's history. One that will never be forgotten.

Chapter 13 - Comparison and Contrast Exercise

Chapter 13 - Comparison and Contrast - Exercise

Reading for Better Writing: A Fear Born of Sorrow - Exercise Pages 189-190

1. Review the title and explain how it does or does not forecast the essay’s main idea.
I believe the title A Fear Born of Sorrow is fitting for this essay. The author of this essay mentions a few tragedies of America as well as worldwide tragedies, but the author is mainly focused on the events of September 11th, 2001. I think her title is fitting for the words she uses to express that day in her essay.

2. The writer compares and contrasts the September 11 attack with the Oklahoma City and Pearl Harbor attacks. What does she conclude from each comparison? Explain why you do or do not agree with her.
When the author compares the September 11th attack to the Oklahoma City bombing and the attack on Pearl Harbor, she comes to the conclusion that America felt more fear and more sorrow about the 9/11 attack. The Oklahoma City bombing was more of an internal American issue. And like the author said in her essay, the person who committed this crime was arrested, tried and punished. And the Pearl Harbor attack was committed during a war and was happened on a U.S. Territory, not the mainland. I do agree with the author. September 11th happened with no warning and it was an attack on The World Trade Center, which was a huge American symbol. I agree with the author of this essay when she says, this attack forced fear upon Americans.

3. Review the essay’s final paragraph and explain why it is or is not an effective closing.
I do feel the author’s final paragraph was an effective closing. In the essay she speaks of how since 9/11 Americans feel fear and have vulnerability instead of feeling confident and invulnerable. So in her final paragraph when she speaks of this nation mourning the lives lost, but also the way of life we Americans have lost, I find it fitting.

Chapter 13 - Comparison and Contrast Mindmap

Chapter 13 - Comparison and Contrast Summary

Chapter 13 - Comparison and Contrast - Summary

In this chapter you learn about comparison and contrast essays. When writing a comparison and contrast essay, there are some things to remember. First, you need to show two subjects in a side by side manner. You need to show your reader how they are comparable and how they are different. At the end of your essay, you need to draw a conclusion or make a point on what you were showing. When choosing a topic, you should find subjects that are related or think of items that are paired. You need to do some research on your subjects and make sure to list where you got your information from. I learned that there are two ways to go about writing or organizing your essay. If your essay will be a short comparison, then you can write subject by subject. If your essay will be longer and more complex, then you will need to organize it in a trait by trait manner.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Journal Entry

After reading the chapter on Cause and Effect, it makes me nervous to write an essay like that. I think this will be more difficult of an essay to write compared to the narrative essay. I will start thinking of a topic now.

Chapter 12 - Cause and Effect - Exercise

The College Writer: Chapter 12 – Cause and Effect – Exercise

Our Tired, Our Poor, Our Kids - Reading for Better Writing Exercise - Page 183:

1. In one sentence, state the cause/effect relationship that Quindlen outlines in “Our Tired, Our Poor, Our Kids.”
Homelessness in America is on the rise due to low-minimum wage and cutting or terminating of peoples welfare benefits or EARP (Emergency Assistance Rehousing Program).

2. In writing, an allusion is an indirect reference to another text. What allusions can you identify in this piece? Why does the writer use allusions in this essay?
This author makes reference to surveys or statistics that were made or completed by New York City, the National Low Income Housing Coalition, San Diego and the Home for the Homeless. I think the author uses these allusions in this essay to give the reader a better understanding of what is really going on out there in America. I think many people do not know or understand the severity of the homeless in this country.

3. Use a pencil or sticky notes to distinguish portions of the essay where Quindlen addresses the cause(s) and the effect(s) of the problem. What is the approximate ratio of space given to each? How are the cause and effect sections arranged? How do these factors affect the essay’s message?
In the first two paragraphs, the author shows effects. In Paragraph one, when the author is talking about six people living in the same room, furniture stacked up and side by side, and just the conditions in general. In paragraph two the author seems to be showing the difference between the more fortunate and the homeless in this country. He also lists out some statistics for the reader. In paragraphs three and four I think there is a combination of cause and effect. The paragraph talks about people on EARP. The author shows us the cause of a person with EARP, and the effect of when a landlord finds out about it, they will not get a call back. Paragraph five tells us about middle-class America and then shares how much the rent on a two-bedroom apartment is. The effect of this is shown in paragraph six, which is that people who make minimum wage cannot afford these high rents. Paragraph seven holds both cause and effect. It lists out some more studies done on how welfare reform has made homelessness worse. The last two paragraphs of this article/ story are a summarization. The ratio of space given to each cause and effect is probably 4 to 6 with the effects standing out more in this essay. The cause and effect sections of the essay are mostly combined. In reading it, you get a more clear understanding of the homelessness in this country.

4. Notice that Quindlen occasionally begins sentences with conjunctions such as but or and. Where, and why? Where might this strategy work in your writing?
The author seemed to start sentences with the words “but” and “and” when comparing middle-class Americans to the homelessness in America or when he was trying to say that this situation can happen to anyone.

Chapter 12 - Cause and Effect - Mindmap

Chapter 12 - Cause and Effect - Summary

“The College Writer”: Chapter 12 – Cause and Effect – Summary

This chapter on cause and effect is an overview of how to write a cause and effect essay. I think the most important thing I learned is that you should write about a topic that you care about. This totally makes sense because if you did not care about the topic, it will show in your writing. You need to have an understanding of what your reader may already know about the topic; you need to think logically, research the topic, have a working thesis, and be clear when making all points for your argument. You need to have many supporting details to support your topic. I think a cause and effect essay can be compared to a persuasive essay in a way. I mean, this is choosing a topic that you care about, showing cause and effect in the details of the topic and trying to get the reader to think a certain way.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

"The Layover" Slideshow

"The Layover" Essay - Narrative & Descriptive

“The Layover”

As we landed in Tokyo, Japan at Narita Airport after an 11 ½ flight, my fiancĂ© Eric and I were thrilled to touch down. The flight from San Francisco to Japan was not entirely pleasant. Flying economy class on a NWA Airbus A330 aircraft, a wide-bodied plane with four seats in the center and two seats on each side separated by aisles we were seated smack in the middle. Being we were surrounded by people on all sides made for an extremely uncomfortable, long and cramped flight. The flight would turn out to be a much better experience then the 17 hour layover in Japan.
Eric and I had so many thoughts as we gathered our belongings to get off the aircraft and begin our layover. This was our first time being in another country, so far from home. It was very exciting yet nerve racking for both of us. Although we were exhausted and extremely hungry, we wanted to first find where we could stay in the airport overnight. Before leaving San Francisco, Eric’s dad told us all about Narita Airport. He explained how this 24-hour airport had dayrooms. I had never heard of these before, but supposedly these dayrooms had beds and showers and where available to rent by the hour. He also went on to tell us about the airport mall with all the shops and restaurants we could go to. I thought, well this great! We may have to stay at the airport for almost 17 hours, but it will be a piece of cake. We can eat, walk around, shop and even rent a room for a few hours so we can sleep.
As Eric and I got off the plane, we explained to one of the flight attendants that we had a long layover and would not be exiting the airport into Japan. She advised us on which direction to go in the airport and then we parted ways. The flight attendant headed towards immigration and customs, while we headed towards another set of security gates. Eric was walking ahead of me, he put his carry on bag on the security belt, handed the guard his ticket and walked through the metal detector. Next it was my turn, I put my bag on the security belt, handed the guard my ticket, but he stopped me. He started speaking to me in Japanese, which I did not understand. The guard kept repeating, “No, No, No”, and handed me my ticket and was pointing his finger in the other direction. I gathered that we were going the wrong way and he wanted us to turn around. So I yelled over to Eric, as he was let through the security check point for some reason. I told him to come back through the gate so we can figure out where we were supposed to be going.
This is the first time I felt like the foreigner! We were the foreigners! I became so stressed and almost scared in some ways. There I was, in another country trying to communicate with people who spoke another language. This is something I had never experienced before considering it was my first trip outside of the United States. I did not know what to do. I had an overwhelming sense of helplessness, but we had to figure this out. We grabbed our carry-on luggage and began walking towards another security gate. The guards at this gate also did not speak English and were also trying to tell us we were going the wrong way.
Next we walked toward the airport mall in hopes of finding someone who was able to help us. We ended up finding a security guard in his all blue uniform, white shirt, black tie and blue hat to match. He did not speak English, but we showed him our tickets and tried to explain our situation. The guard grabbed another guard and they were speaking back and forth in Japanese while looking at our tickets. Finally one of them motioned for us to follow him. He took us to an employee of NWA who spoke English. Finally, someone who can help us out, I thought to myself. Eric and I explained to the woman that we were going to have a 17 hour layover and wanted to know where we can stay. We wanted to know where the dayrooms were located. Baffled the woman looked at us and said, “Oh no, you can’t stay here overnight! The airport closes at 11 o’ clock p.m.! You have to exit the airport.” She then advised us to go down to immigration, fill out the paperwork needed to enter the country and go to baggage claim. At baggage claim, there is an NWA booth that would be able to assist us further.
When she told us the airport closes, that we could not stay my heart dropped into my stomach and I became flustered. I did not know what we were going to do! I couldn’t believe it… the airport closes?! I have never heard of such a thing! So, we did the only thing we could, we made our way towards immigration, filled out the paperwork and went over to the NWA booth near baggage claim. With a sense of panic starting to come over me, I confronted the NWA employee behind the counter with so many questions. We did not have a hotel; we were not expecting this to happen, I wanted to know what we were supposed to do. I was fearful of leaving the airport. I am a planner by nature; I do not like unexpected events, so naturally they are not welcomed with me. The employee at the booth explained that the airport does close at 11 o’clock pm, but we could stay in the “meeting point” of the airport. This was an area right when you enter the airport off the street, furnished with nothing but chairs, where we could spend the night. So, that was it… we would sleep in the chairs in the entrance of the airport in Tokyo, Japan.
Before the 11 o’clock hour, Eric and I were able to go into the mall, grab a bite to eat and call my mom. Even the simplest tasks made me feel so outside my element, unsure of what to do like paying at the restaurant, buying the calling cards and using the pay phone. First the calling card machine directions were all in Japanese making the purchase of a card, a “hope for the best” moment. Then figuring out how to use the calling card and pay phone together proved to be a chore. At the restaurant they had a button at our table, much like a door bell button, that we would push if we needed anything during the course of our meal. When they brought out the bill, they left a little tray near it. Is that where they wanted the yen to be placed? Sitting there we realized we did not even know if we were supposed to leave a tip or not. We recognized we were very unclear and unprepared as to the customs and culture in Japan. Eric ended up asking a gentleman next to us who kindly informed us tips are not welcomed in Japan.
After our meal, we headed out to find our sleeping area for the night. We picked a row of seats along a wall in a small concaved room. The chairs themselves were made of hard metal with very little tan colored cushioning. We put our luggage down on them, to act as pillows. We wrapped ourselves in sweatshirts and jackets to try and stay warm. When 11 pm stuck, the airport was closed down and all the doors were locked and most of the lights were shut off. The security guards, along with Japanese Police, came around asking everyone for their passports. They recorded all information from each individual passport so they could keep track of who was there. I felt very safe in knowing they did this.
All together, there were about 10 to 15 people around us; a group of men and woman who looked as if they were backpacking around different countries, a few pairs of woman and men and some couples. There was one man in particular that struck both Eric and I as a little odd. When the female police officer asked for his passport, the man acted as though he did not understand her, and I thought at first that there was a language barrier. Yet when a male officer came over the man was very cooperative. This made it seem like he may have not wanted to deal with the first officer because she was a woman. Also, throughout the night Eric and I woke up many times due to being uncomfortable or the noise of the singing vending machine, and every time we awoke to this man staring at us. It was the most awkward, uncomfortable occurrence.
We were glad to see morning come. Our uncomfortable night of sleep was over and we could go our separate ways from the “strange man” sitting near us. Before this happened there was one more scare with this man. As he got up from his seat, grabbing all of his bags, he left one dark disposable bag sitting there, right in the middle of the walk way. Eric and I remained sitting for a few minutes, just staring at it. We did not know what to do. Were we reading too much into this? Should we tell someone? All airports now talk about keeping your bags with you and informing authorities of unaccompanied bags. Just before we did anything about it, the man came back around, picked up his bag and threw it away. Phew… a sign of relief for us.
We got up and headed towards the mall for some breakfast, just before heading over to the departure gates. Our 17 hour layover was coming to an end. Before we boarded our plane, I made sure to use their airport computers to book a hotel room for our layover on the way back. That layover was going to be for nearly 24 hours, and although we thought of this as a memorable experience, it is not one we wanted to repeat.

"The Layover" Mindmap


Friday, February 6, 2009

Journal Entry

I just finished my first draft of my Narrative/ Descriptive Essay, but now I have to figure out how to make it shorter! I know it is only suppose to be 5 paragraphs, but that is really hard to do. Right now it is about 2 1/2 pages. Hmmm.... not sure what to do. I think I will walk away from it for tonight and go back to it tomorrow. See if that helps. And I sent it to a friend... hopefully she can help me out!

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Journal Entry

I just finished the chapter reads, exercises, mindmaps and summaries for weeks 3-5. Now I can focus on trying to think of a topic for my first essay. The Narrative, Descriptive and Reflective Writing essay! I have a few ideas, but I am trying to think of an experience that has a lot of detail, but not too much! Hmmmm...... I don't know. I will just have to rack my brain to think of something! We'll see what I come up with. That's all for now.

Chapter 11 - Description and Reflection - Exercise

“The College Writer”: Chapter 11 – Description and Reflection – Exercise

“Call Me Crazy, But I Have To Be Myself” – Reading for Better Writing – Page 159-160

1. What purpose does Seymour identify for writing the essay? What other purposes might be served by publishing this piece for Newsweek’s readers?

Seymour states the reason why she is writing this essay is to tell about and show who her “true” self is. She is tired of hiding part of herself from the world. By publishing this piece in Newsweek, readers with the same issue may realize that they are not alone; that there are people with the same bipolar disorder and that it is possible to live a normal life. It is possible for a person with bipolar disorder to be a functioning part of society. There are many things that can help; medication, therapy, etc.

2. The writer starts with one category label for herself (“mentally ill”) and then quickly adds another (“functional member of society”). How does this second label redefine the first?

I think by identifying herself as both mentally ill and a functioning member of society shows that there are different levels of the “mentally ill”; just because you have a disorder of the mind does not mean that you are less than. I think that when you first read her first label of “mentally ill”, you think of a crazy person who is incapable of anything but being crazy. Then you she labels herself as a “functional member of society” you feel like she becomes more of a “normal” person; a person in which everyone can relate to.

3. Description is used to support many other kinds of writing, including the types of analytical and persuasive writing outlined here in The College Writer. In what other chapters could this essay have been included, and how do you know?

I think this essay could also be included in chapters regarding narrative, descriptive, reflective, analytical and persuasive writing. This is already apart of the narrative, descriptive and reflective chapters. The reason I think it can be in the chapter regarding analytical writing is because the author, Seymour is analyzing herself and her situation is this essay. I have yet to read the analytical writing chapters, but I will assume that will be the directions given, is to analyze. The reason I see this essay fit for the chapter on persuasive writing is because the author is sort of persuading you to see that a person with a mental disorder can still be considered a normal functioning part of society. She is taking a position and asking the readers to see that position too. This essay could probably also go into the report writing chapter and the research chapter if some more information was added. Like if the author of this essay had added some experiments, field reports, or added some research done on people with bipolar disorder in society.

4. Review the section of this book on “Editing and Proofreading” (pages 83-98), especially the portion on biased words. Why does Seymour use the phrase “call me crazy”? Is her use of the word biased or insulting? Explain.

I believe Seymour used the phrase “call me crazy” because she feels like people may perceive her that way for telling her story or that bipolar disorder means that a person is “crazy.” I personally don’t think her use of the word “crazy” is showing a bias or being insulting, but according to the “Editing and Proofreading” pages in this book, it may be a biased word. On page 95, it talks about words referring to conditions. The word “crazy” is not on the list, but the book does say, for example, you should not write “cripple”, but instead write, “person who has difficulty walking.” So after seeing that, maybe Seymour should have said something like, “a person with a mental disorder” or something close to that. But for me personally, I took no offense to the word “crazy.”

Chapter 11 - Description and Reflection - Mindmap


Chapter 11 - Description and Reflection - Summary

“The College Writer”: Chapter 11 – Description and Reflection – Summary

This chapter is very similar to the last (Narration and Description). You are still going to be writing an essay on a personal experience, but you are also going to be reflecting on that experience and why it is important in your life. You need to write about something that is a memorable experience; one worth reflecting upon. You reader need to pick up on that and understand why you reflect back on this experience. You need to be honest and show the reader all of the emotion that is attached to this experience. Even if you were embarrassed or felt a great deal of pain, you need to portray this to your reader. This experience may be a time when you felt secure, distraught, appreciated or frightened. This experience may be a time when you made a decision about your lifestyle or religious belief, about your education or deciding to leave home. You may decide to talk about an event that tested your will or patience or an event that changed your opinion of a person or institution. Regardless of what topic you choose, you must follow some writing guidelines. After your topic has been selected, you need to gather the details, get organized, and write you first draft. Once you have a draft of your essay, review and revise it based on accuracy and completeness. Then you can reflect upon the writing. You need to reflect on your tone, viewpoint and assess if the readers will appreciate your essay. Get feedback from peers or family or friends. Make sure to edit and proofread your essay and then you are ready to write the final copy and publish your writing. I feel like this chapter was really an extension of the last chapter. It is just one more step towards the process of writing a good personal experience essay.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Chapter 10 - Narration and Description Exercise

“The College Writer”: Chapter 10 – Narration and Description – Exercise

Reading for Better Writing – Exercise – page 139

1. In the first three paragraphs of his essay, the writer describes Highland. Cite passages that do or do not help you see the setting. What mood or feeling does the description evoke?

In the first three paragraphs, the writer helps me to visualize Highland by saying things like,” beautiful fall days…. on the Great Plains”, “warm southern breezes”, ”sun smiles with gentleness”,” spacious sky reigns over everything”, and “ghost town, Highland, Iowa.” These types of statements give me a picture of wide open spaces, where the air is fresh, the sun beams down on you, and the sky seems to stretch as far as you can see all over or around this little ghost town. The writer goes on to describe how the lands were once divided into 160-acre chunks and since then towns have dies out. The writer talks about the Protestant churches, horse barns and a blacksmith shop. I am picturing a deserted town in the middle of wide open space. I feel a sense of peace and the want to take in the amazing views of nature. On the other hand, when the writer mentions it being like a ghost town, I feel a tiny bit of eeriness.

2. James C. Schaap, himself a writer, takes his students to Highland, where he asks them to use the setting as a writing prompt. What could students learn from the experience? Why?

I think the atmosphere of this place will give the students the ability to learn to open their minds. The place seems to be so wide open and a place where you can breathe in nature at its best. I also think it sounds like the students can learn a little bit about the history of that area. See how years can change a place. The professor/ writer taking his students to this town of Highland, takes them out of their normal everyday lives, shows and gives them a change of pace, a chance to see things in a different light.

3. Schaap concludes the essay by saying that his students’ presence in Highland on September 11 was “a kind of blessing.” What does he mean?

I think the writer is trying to point out how on September 11, 2001, America was awakened with a tremendous amount of shock, terror and sadness. I think he was trying to say that the students he had with him in Highland on that day, at that time had the “blessing” of not partaking in so much of that shock, terror and sadness. They were able to see something beautiful in nature and clear their minds. And then maybe when going back and learning the news, they were able to deal with it better.

4. What do you think the writer is trying to say in the last several lines?

I think the writer is just simply trying to point out how much he really enjoys this place in Highland, Iowa. He looks at this place, or taking this trip, as such a joyful part of his life. So on September 11, 2001, he was glad to be seeing something so beautiful and peaceful before finding out about the horrors that took place that day.

Chapter 10 - Narration and Description Mindmap


Chapter 10 - Narration and Description Summary

“The College Writer”: Chapter 10 – Narration and Description – Summary

This chapter goes over what a narrative or descriptive essay actually is. It is an essay based on a personal experience. It can be anything from a time you were afraid or angry to a time you found joy. It can be a hard lesson learned or a secret you discovered. It can be about a loved one you’ve lost or a time of celebration. There are so many options as far as topics for this type of essay. You just need to remember some key points. You need to make sure you are passionate about your topic, that you include characters, details, and descriptions. You want to make the reader feel like they are apart of your story. You want the reader to hear, see, touch and taste what you did. Once you know your topic, focus in on a key moment or point to your story, gather details and write an outline, you should ask for some feedback from someone. Once you do, it is time to write your first draft. You need to write the first draft, then share your story, revise it, edit and proofread it, and write up your final copy. I was glad to find out that you are able to add photos or drawing in with your narrative essay. I think that will be really good if I can incorporate some images into my story.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Chapter 9 - Forms of College Writing Mindmap


Chapter 9 - Forms of College Writing - Summary

“The College Writer”: Forms of College Writing – Summary

This is a short chapter on the three divisions into which most college curricula is divided, the departments of and types of writing in each division. The three curricular divisions are humanities, social sciences and natural and applied sciences. To name a few examples, Humanities is made up of departments such as archeology, dance, English, history, religion and woman’s studies. Social science is made of departments such as criminology, genetics, government and psychology. Natural and applied sciences are made up of departments such as anatomy, biology, computer science, and zoology. By showing a few examples of each division, you can tell that humanities focus more on human culture, cultural trends and religion; social sciences studies human behavior and societies, while natural and applied sciences focus the aspects of nature. This chapter also briefly shows you what types and traits of writing take place in each division.

Chapter 8 - One Writer's Process - Exercise

“The College Writer”: Chapter 8 – One Writer’s Process – Exercise

Exercise #1 – Page 119

Review Angela’s writing process. How does it compare with your own writing process on a recent assignment?

At this point, I have only had one essay writing assignment, which was my Self Introduction Essay, so I will base my answer to this question on how I wrote that essay. In writing the Self Introduction Essay I did examine the assignment; figure out the subject, purpose, and audience. I also made a mind map, which assisted me in writing the essay. I feel like when I wrote the essay, I was mostly doing freewriting. The topic was myself, which is an easy topic to write about; it required no research. I organized the essay into five paragraphs: an introduction, past, present and future and a closing. I will admit, I did not do any revisions and I just briefly looked over the finished product for any noticeable errors. After reading these eight chapters, I now understand it takes a lot more to make an essay a finished product to be proud of. I will take all that I have learned here and try to apply it in future essays.

Chapter 8 - One Writer's Process Mindmap


Chapter 8 - One Writer's Process - Summary

“The College Writer”: Chapter 8 – One Writer’s Process – Summary

This chapter is a kind of overview of the past seven chapters. You see the process of writing an essay in motion. The example given in this chapter is an essay written by a student named Angela Franco. Angela receives her assignment, examines it, makes a cluster of ideas, as well as does some freewriting. This is to narrow her assignment to a more specific focus. She goes through the process of planning for her essay. This entails answering some questions like who, what, when, why, where and how. She also does research on her topic making sure to record all sources. Angela picks a way to organize her essay and writes her first draft. She then makes some revisions based on ideas, organization and voice. After reviewing her corrections, she gives her paper to a peer for review. These two revisions lead her write an edited draft. At this point, the chapter point out that Angela has now done her first draft, two revisions, an edited draft and a proofread draft. She is now ready to complete her finished essay, which she does. So this chapter gives an example of how to write an essay.

Chapter 7 - Submitting Writing and Creating Portfolios Exercise

“The College Writer”: Chapter 7: Submitting Writing and Creating Portfolios – Exercise

Exercise # 1 – Page 102

Choose one of your recent writing assignments and use the instructions on page 100 to access the quality of your formatting and page design. Edit and redesign the paper as needed.


Self Introduction Essay

My name is Carrie Karp and I am twenty-six years old. I was born in Burlingame,
California. Although I moved around quite a bit throughout my life, I have always lived in the
Bay Area. I spent about the first ten to twelve years of my life living on the Peninsula. The
remaining fourteen to sixteen years, I have lived in the East Bay. I am an only child, although I
do have step-siblings whom I consider to be almost like blood relatives. My parents got divorced
when I was very young and my step father and his children have been in my life since I was
about two years old.

I come from a mixed background. My mom’s mother, Nani as we call her, is part Scottish,
French, and English. She would be considered a fifth generation San Franciscan. My mom’s
father, my Grandpa Al, was Croatian. Both of his parents came over to San Francisco from
Yugoslavia. My Grandpa Al would be considered a first generation San Franciscan. My mom’s
parents had eight kids total. I have a very large family that just keeps growing! My dad’s father,
my Grandpa Lenny, is German. I am not sure as to when his family came to the United States.
His mother, my Grandma June, is Italian. She came to the United States from Italy. She is from
Genova, which is northern Italy. My father’s parents had only two children. So that part of my family is not so big. After that summary of where I have come from, I would say that I am a mix
of Italian, German, Scottish, French and English.

Currently I am living in Livermore with my fiancé and our two dogs, Cody and Bella. Cody
and Bella are Labrador Retrievers. I am a HUGE animal lover! I almost wish I could have a
household full of all different pets. The reason I say almost is because I know how much goes
into having a pet; feeding them, bathing them, taking them to the vet, etc. I believe pets are a
huge responsibility and you should not own a pet unless you understand that. So, two dogs are
all that I can handle right now. I also think there is nothing better to me than spending time with
family and friends. As I grow and mature, I realize that family and friends (and pets too) is what
makes your life rich and full of happiness and love. Some of my hobbies or “loves of life” are
travelling, although I have not done much of it yet, eating good food and watching good movies
every now and again. I also love to do arts and crafts, cooking/ baking, to visit museums, and go
shopping.

As for the near future, my fiancé and I are getting married in August of this year, which I
am super excited for. I just started attending Lincoln University in the fall semester of 2008. I
am aiming towards my Associates of Science degree in Diagnostic Imaging with my
concentration being General Sonography. I never thought I would go to college after high school,
but as some years past, I realize the importance of an education. I believe that being educated
means having confidence and opens doors for you in life.

My goals for the present and the future are to concentrate on school, do my best to
achieve good grades while absorbing all information taught to me and ultimately to find a job as
an Ultrasound Tech. I want the kind of job that I will be happy to go to everyday. I also want job
security and good pay. I believe all of this will come with working as an Ultrasound Tech. I also
want to start a family within the next three to four years. I cannot wait to experience the joys of
being a parent. I have no doubts that there will be hard times, but I embrace them and look
forward to all the good to come as well. I am so looking forward to the years to come.

Chapter 7 - Submitting Writing and Creating Portfolios Mindmap


Chapter 7 - Submitting Writing and Creating Portfolios Summary

“The College Writer”: Chapter 7: Submitting Writing and Creating Portfolios – Summary

This is a very short and to the point chapter about the ways to submit your essays. It goes over the proper formatting, typography, spacing and graphical devices for your essays. You need to make sure that all your papers are easy to read, uncluttered, have proper spacing and margins as well as proper use of lists and charts. You can choose a number of different audiences to submit your paper to. You can submit it to peers, your instructor, family and friends or even on a blog. You can submit your papers either on a physical medium, such as paper or by electronic submission. In this class, we submit all of our written assignments via email and a blogging website. I think that is a great idea for many reasons, but the most important being that we are not wasting paper.

Chapter 6 - Exercise

“The College Writer”: Chapter 6 Editing and Proofreading – Exercise

Exercise #3 – Page 98

Combine some of the following ideas into longer, more mature sentences. Write at least four sentences, using page 85 as a guide.

1. A well-trained dog is a pleasure to its owner and to others, although dogs can be difficult to train.

2. Dogs can be difficult to train; the necessary supplies include patience, a leash and treats.

3. Not only do dogs like to please their owners, but a well-trained dog is a pleasure to its owner and to others.

4. Training is not a chore for dogs because dogs like to please their owners.

Chapter 6 - Mindmap


Chapter 6 - Summary

“The College Writer”: Chapter 6 Editing and Proofreading – Summary

In chapter 6, titled, “Editing and proofreading,” you learn that once you have a revised copy of your essay, the next step it to look it over again. This time you are editing for words, phrases, and sentences that are unclear or that do not look right. You are also looking for any spelling errors, mechanics, usage, and grammar errors. You want to make sure that your reader can completely understand what you are writing about. You do not want to include any jargon or redundancy. You want to write in a way in which you are using fair language with no biased words. You want to make sure to choose nouns and verbs with energy and vividness. When you have someone reading your paper, you want to be sure you have their full attend. This chapter teaches you how to achieve that goal through editing your sentence structure, word choice and punctuation. When you are writing essays, I think this will be a great chapter to refer back to in order to improve your paper.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Chapter 5 - Revising Mindmap


Chapter 5 - Revising Summary

“The College Writer”: Chapter 5 – Revising Summary

This chapter on revising I would say is about just that. This chapter shows you how to take your written first draft and revise it into possibly your final draft. It will differ person to person or paper to paper. You may need to write more than just one rough draft. You may need a couple before you finally have your final paper completed. You need to know how to look at your first draft and address all the issues it may contain. This requires you to ask yourself a lot of questions. Maybe you can make the title more appealing. Maybe your “voice” is not very honest in your writing. Maybe you are not staying organized within the essay. Basically you need to look at the draft as a whole and then paragraph by paragraph to determine what can be changed, what details need to be added, what parts don’t really relate to the topic after all. I think one of the most important teachings of this chapter is to remember the basics! Remember to be organized, support and explore your topic, have lots of detail, ask and answer questions, summarize the main point and make the essay as a whole functional.

Journal Entry

As I sit here reaading these chapters on all the different steps actually is in writing an essay, I am getting a little nervous. I realized that I have not written an essay in a very long time. I am scared to see what my first essay will look like and how long it will actually take for me to complete. I am sure the first essay will not be as good as the last. I will just need to recall those "writing" skills from forever ago... and see what I can come up with. That's all for now!

Chapter 4 - Drafting Mindmap


Chapter 4 - Drafting - Summary

“The College Writer”: Chapter 4 – Drafting – Summary

The chapter outlines how to write a rough draft of your essay. Like the previous chapter, you again learn how to re-look at your topic, think about your audience, purpose and your subject. In every essay you need to have a beginning, middle and end. You need to grab your reader’s attentions, tell them your thesis, ask enticing questions, and show your organization or what direction you are taking the reader. You also need to deepen your issue by providing supporting information for your thesis, test your ideas, have structure and have lots of detail. I think you should share some personal interest in your topic, again, ask and answer questions, and really just get to the point. This chapter goes over many different ways you can structure your details in your essay, such as, analogical, cause and effect, chronological order, classification, compare and contrast, and so on. In ending your essay, you should always reassert the main point and try to urge your reader to look ahead at the possibilities and also accept what you have said.

Chapter 3 - Planning - Exercise

“The College Writer”: Chapter 3 – Planning – Exercise

Exercise #1: Author Ken Macrorie claims that “Good writing is formed partly through plan and partly through accident,” Do you agree? Why or why not? Relate Macrorie’s idea to your own writing experiences. How carefully do you plan? How much do you leave to accident?

I completely agree with this statement that the author Ken Macrorie claims above. Yes, I think that an essential part of writing is research and planning for your essay. I also believe that as your brain processes the information as you go along. During this time that you are planning and analyzing the material, new ideas and thoughts may come to mind. That is what this chapter in the book talks about; a “working” thesis. You may write your thesis statement, but after gathering more information and analyzing it a bit, you may change your ideas. If you are dealing with a more narrative, personal experience essay, I think most of this essay’s final draft will be accidental. That is why when you write a paper, you normally have many drafts. It is because of the accidental thoughts that come in and that you jot down. I have done that many of times in everything that I write. Whether you are writing in a card, or writing a note, or an essay, you are bound to have some “accidental” writing pop in there. I think the amount of accidents you input into writing depends. I think that is different each time.